


get the whole town drunk

by orphan_account



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:50:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3849907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>set at the end of the awa arc, i just wanted to get all my worst headcanons out of my system, sorry friends</p>
            </blockquote>





	get the whole town drunk

 

5

The sun aet over Awa harbour as Kouka Kingdom entered a massive liquor shortage. Even the town's children were wrecked by proxy. It started with the pirates and spread, and by the time the moon rose, even the former Lord Kumji's goons were partying it up. By some miraculous coincidence, the entire city was made up of happy drunks. Not a single fight had broken out since the big one on the ship. It really was a night history was made.

The blue and white dragon warriors plus Hak were in a weird kinda pile next to a campfire when Jaeha stumbled up to them, no clothes on, naturally green haired. He fell over face down on top of the other men. Kija sqealed like a baby pig.

“Oh my god! Why is there a naked man on me?!!”

“I'm wearing a boot.”

“Why are you only wearing one boot?!”

“Somebody puked in the other one and Yun used my shirt as a tourniquet for one of the injured and I think somebody burned my pants.” Jaeha laughed. “I am having such a good night.”

Kija covered his eyeswith one hand and with the other, grabbed Shinha's mask and pelt and handed them to Jaeha. “Please cover yourself!”

Jaeha placed the mask over his crotch. “Well, now Shinha's naked.”

“At least Sinha's cute, droopy eyes.”

“Thanks, Hak.” laughed the green dragon. “So what's Yona up to?”

“She ran off with Yuri.” Said Hak.

“we don't know what they're doing.” Added Shinha.

Jaeha grinned. “And you all are waiting for her? That's so cute!”

Kija blushed. “Shut up, naked man.”

“I'm wearing a boot! And a mask over my junk! I'm getting dick all over Shinha's mask because you didn't want to see my dong!” He grinned again. “Anyway, you're all worried about Yona! That's adorable! Oh my god!” He fell over.

“Is he dead?” Asked Kija.

“I dunno. Try poking him.” Said Hak.

“I don't wanna touch a dead guy!”

“I'm fine. I could drink all of you cutie babes under the table.”

“That a challenge, droopy eyes?”

Jaeha sat right up. “It wasn't at first, but it is now! Where's more liquor?”

A stranger sat down next to them. “Zeno has booze! Last dragon or Hak still conscious wins?”

Within 10 minutes, Hak lost. The others used his unconscious body as a big meat couch.

4

“Hey, Kija.” Said Jaeha, giggling like a big dumb five year old.

“Huh?” Kija leaned against his chest.

“Is it true what they say about guys with big hands?” He broke down laughing as Kija blushed.

“I dunno. What do they say?” Kija slurred.

Jaeha managed to answer him through his breathless laughter. Kija sat up completely straight and turned a deep wine red. “I.. I don't actually know.” He spluttered. “I've only ever seen my own.” Someohw, he blushed more. “And yours just now. I mean I didn't look hard you were just walking around with it out I barely even saw I cuoldn't help it-”

Jaeha put an arm around his shoulders and giggled. “Wanna compare?”

Kija crossed over from red into purple. “Why do you even wanna know?

“'Cause you're cute and you've seen mine.”

Kija's hair blushed. “I barely looked.”

“Whatever you say, cutie.”

On the ground, Hak opened an eye and giggled. “Show him your white snake.”

“Gross. Did you wake up for that?” Kija nudged Hak. He was out cold.

“Seems worth it.” Said Jaeha.

“Ugh. Not until we're married. And it's a dragon, not a snake. ” Kija passed out into his lap.

Jaeha ran a hand through his hair. “Sure, sure. I respect that.”

3

“So, Shinha.” Said Jaeha.

“yeah?”

“I have a question regarding your power.”

“what is it?”

“Hypothetically. In theory. If you had a very good reason.”

“what?”

“Could you use your power to look through people's clothing?”

“i guess so. why would i want to do that?”

Jaeha paused. “You're too good for this sinful earth, man.”

Shinha smiled a bit. “thanks.” He curled up and gently fell asleep on top of the other unconscious dragons.

2

It was down to Jaeha and the strange weirdo, and the green dragon was getting competitive.

“So what's your deal?” He asked what's his face.

“Deal?”

“Like we're all drunk and the dragons- drunkons-” He snorted,”And we're all together and we know each other as a team and crap and here's this guy and he's drank like 70 bathtubs of alcohol and he's talking in real words in sentences? Like I totally love you as much as these men i'm cuddling with but like who are you? And how the drinking thing?”

“Zeno can't get drunk.”

“Zeno you?” Zeno nodded. “So why drink? Isn't that a waste of good liquor?”

“There's always hope, I guess. And, the town ran out of good liquor ages ago. I think what we're drinking right now came out of a horse.” He smiled.

“Don't knock horses. Those are some majestic bastards.”

Zeno laughed. “Sorry.”

“I won't tell the horses. Do you wanna get drunk that badly?”

Zeno nodded, turned away and rubbed his eye slightly. “I have a lot of stuff that needs forgetting.”

Jaeha reached out his arm.”Hey, weird boy. You need a hug?”

Zeno all but jumped into the pile. Jaeha pulled an arm around him and gently rubbed his back, as he started crying under his breath.

“Hey, hey. It's alright. You let it out. I got you. Wanna talk?”

Zeno shook his head.

“Okay. Cry as much as you want. I'm here. Everything's gonna be fine.” Gradually, Zeno calmed down. Once he'd stopped crying, Jaeha let himself drift off into sleep.

 

1

As always, Zeno was the last one standing. Last one awake, at least.

It had been ages since anyone had cuddled him. It was nice. He managed to wrench himself out of Jaeha's arms without waking him. It was almost dawn and pretty warm out, so he extinguished the fire when some pretty, androgynous kid walked up holding a black silk shirt soaked with blood.

“Ugh, I'm done. Nobody is allowed to get injured ever again. Next person I see bleeding I'm gonna kick.” They threw the shirt over Jeaha's face and fell on top of the dragons. “Who are you?”

“Nobody important.” Said Zeno.

“Okay. Any injuries?”

“Nope. Zeno's resilient.”

“That's amazing. I think I'm in love with you. Do you wanna get married?” They fell asleep.

0

It was ass in the morning when Yona threw a bootful of icy cold seawater on her boys.

“Morning, everyone!” She beamed and held up the boot. “This is yours, right, Jaeha? I rinsed all the vomit out of it.”

Jaeha somehow suppressed his urge to cry and vomit and kick the princess in the face. “Thank you, Yona. Good morning to you too.” He tied his shirt around his waist and pulled his wet boot on. “I'm going to go find some trousers and extract whatever crawled into my brain and pooped and died. Here's your mask back.” He wiped Shinha's mask on the least crotchy part of his shirt and handed it to him. Shinha whimpered some thanks, curled up and hid his face as Jaeha staggered off.

“Yona?” Said Yun, “You didn't drink yesterday?”

“No, I did.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Kija whined. “Do you want to sit down?”

“I'm fine. I've always been a morning person.” She beamed.

Hak pushed the others off of himself. “Your Highness, may I ask what the ever loving fuck is wrong with you?”

“Shut it, Hak.”

Hak shut it.

“We should start looking for Ouryuu as soon as possible. Kija, Shinha, any ideas?”

“I think I remember sensing something yesterday.”

“Really?”

“Nope. Nothing.”

“jae-ha took my mask.”

“Aw! I'll yell at him before we leave. Anyone want breakfast?”

“God, Your Highness, What kind of sick monster are you?”

“I can't help it. I'm going to find us some breakfast. It'll help. We should leave today.” The soulless hell beast whistled to herself as she left.

**Author's Note:**

> nobody said zeno wasn't there also i didn't make a yaoi hands joke re kija i'm p proud of that


End file.
